Sunday, February 9, 2014

Life's Short. Live Passionately.

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This morning I woke up and skimmed through my facebook newsfeed. There were the usual weather complaints, depressing news stories, and funny photos, but among all of those things...I'm glad that a passionate, emotional, and positive post about life caught my eye. A woman I met last year was sharing her experience of losing her youngest brother two years ago. She started off by saying that she has felt all the anger and pain that you would expect somebody to feel after losing such an important person in their life, but then quickly went on to write about how the experience has been "an awakening" one for her.

This woman gained a whole new perspective from the loss of her brother and made something positive out of one of the most heart breaking things we could ever experience in life. Now she's trying to share what she's learned with others. She pointed out things that we're all "aware" of, but tend to turn a blind eye to because we'd rather pretend that we're invincible. She said that we aren't promised tomorrow, or even tonight, and therefore the right moment and time to say your apologies, your "I love yous", "I adore yous", and to give forgiveness and hugs is right now. She wrote about how she now loves as fully and passionately as she can, and about she finds joy in all places and always chooses to be joyous. There are times when joy finds you, when something happens that makes you feel happy. However, often times we have to create this joy ourselves, we have to choose to be happy. The last thing she said was to not only be kind, but to be so kind to others that you forget how to be any other way and to extend compassion towards all people.

Often times my attitude towards the day is heavily influenced by what I wake up to. If I wake up frantic because I slept through my alarm, I tend to be at a higher level of stress during the day. If I wake up and the first thing I do is watch heartbreaking stories on the news all morning, I tend to be more depressed. And then there are mornings like today, when I wake up and see something that inspires me or provokes thought. And days like today I tend to be more appreciative and more positive. Living passionately has been something that I've always strived to do. When I love somebody, be it a friend, family member, or romantically, I tell them and show them that I love them every chance that I get. I express my love for the people I hold dear in every way that I know how to because when I die, or when they die, I want them to not be able to question my love for them. When I support a cause, or am against a cause, I make a stand and I make it loud. We only have one life and one voice and I refuse to let either go to waste.

One aspect of my messed up brain that adds a lot of unnecessary stress to my life is that I am always paranoid about the future.I don't think there's a day that goes by where I don't dread the loss of a current relationship, my dog, my parents, etc. I am constantly coming up with traumatic events in my head and trying to figure out how I'm going to cope with them. Morbid? Very. Everyday I work towards overcoming my habit of living halfway in the future. There is a positive side to it though...the passion it brings to the present. Part of the driving force behind why I'm so passionate about life and love is simply the fear of losing it all.

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