Thursday, February 20, 2014

Does it Emasculate Men? Degrade Women? Destroy Marriages? That and So Much More.

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I saw this video back in January and it put the thoughts that I have had towards this industry for years into better words than I could have ever strung together. Pornography is something that I have been very passionately against since the very first day that I could make sense of what it really is. With that being said, I hope that you all, men and women, young and old, will watch this video with an open mind. LISTEN to what this man is telling us because it is the truth. The average age of people being exposed to porn is 8 years old? Are you kidding me? This statistic makes my stomach turn. Imagine an 8 year old child in your mind right now. Now imagine them being exposed to porn. It is disgusting, it's not right, and it's an image that leaves me feeling physically ill and absolutely disgusted with humanity and how low we have allowed ourselves to fall. 8 year old children should be playing with Barbie dolls and action figures, watching Disney movies and building forts outside...not being exposed to sexual acts. Whether you're religious or not (personally, I am not), there is still a huge message here that we can either accept as the truth or we can ignore and continue consuming and spreading this poison. Whether you want to accept it or not, things as "small" as watching porn or going to a strip club all grow from the same tree and stem from the same roots (as the example given in this video) as sex trafficking. It is all a disease that takes advantage of the weakness of human beings.

One thing that gets me, is that people pass off pornography as being normal, natural, and healthy. Yes, nudity is natural. Yes, sex is natural and healthy. However, you cannot pass something like watching pornography off as "natural" simply because it makes you feel like it's a justifiable thing to do. It is not natural for two (or more) members of a species to be filmed having sexual relations so other members of the species can masturbate while watching it or to use it as some other form of pleasure. I'm sorry if that's blunt, but natural is simply not a word you can use to describe pornography. And sadly for the people who use "normal" to describe this situation, the definition of normal is "conforming to a standard; usual; typical; or expected".  Just because something is "typical" does that mean that it's a good thing, or the right thing.  Normal doesn't mean that something is good or positive for society, it simply means that it has become standard, that people have made a certain behavior the norm. Why strive to be a part of this norm? Why not strive to be something different? Something healthier? Something higher?

However, as the man talked about in the video above, this video is not meant to BLAME men. That's not what he's setting out to do. What he wants to do is show us that everyone is a victim to this industry. Those who create it, those who produce it, those who consume it and watch it, everyone. He wants to show that in order to stop this, we need to help the people who have fallen victim to this industry. Without demand there will be no supply. In order to put an end to sexual exploitation there needs to not be a constant demand for it. A lot of men (and women) continue to watch porn because there are so many influences out there that make them feel like it's harmless. All the jokes that people make about it, all the movies that are basically making pornography mainstream, the friends who urge each other to "watch this video I found" or "check out this strip club". It all makes people forget about those who are being hurt and forget that society as a whole is suffering from these seemingly small acts. And what's worse? Men are afraid to take a stand against it and speak out against the industry for fear of being viewed as "weird" by other men. With stupid memes circulating saying "90% of men watch porn and 10% are lying" or "If you don't watch porn you're gay" (which is the most ignorant thing I've ever heard for so many reasons, but that's for another day) I can see how it would make men nervous to even think about taking a stance against it, let alone actually going through with it. Men are thought of to be the problem, we need to help them and encourage them to be part of the solution.

This brings me to one of the bravest acts I've ever witnessed. A friend of mine saw this video circulating back in January, and he then decided to open up about a part of his life that he had kept secret up until that point. He didn't only open up to his friends, coworkers, or family....he opened up to the entire world on his blog. He did this in hopes that his story will help others who can relate. Not a lot of men open up about this topic, especially not men who have come out on the other side of this addiction. His triumph over addiction is incredibly beautiful and inspiring. If you guys have time, only if you really have TIME, to absorb his words, not just skim...please give this a read. It's a side of the story that many of us have never heard before. I'd like to thank this particular friend so much for taking a leap and reaching out and sharing his story with what could potentially be millions of people who are going through exactly what he went through. I urge all of you to click here to read Matt's story. Hear how detrimental this industry is from a man. A man who was once addicted to it. 


  1. It's so easy to attack the porn/strip club/sex industry as degrading to women and forget the millions of men who are victims of it, in a different way. Strip clubs emasculate men. It's a degradation not unlike what the pole dancers are voluntarily experiencing. And it's painful.

    Food for thought: Iceland has a ban on the distribution of porn, and strip clubs.

    Good piece, keep it up.


    1. Exactly! People often lose focus on the men and only focus on the women's side of it when like you said, it affects everyone. I've met so many men who have been affected by the industry and it runs their lives, it's extremely sad. I REALLY wish more of the world would follow in Iceland's footsteps. There is no need for things like porn and strip clubs in this world.

      Thank you so much!




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